The 5 Love Languages: the Secret to Love that Lasts

"The 5 Love Languages: the Secret to Love that Lasts" is a book by Dr. Gary Chapman
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/

How do you keep that initial warm and fuzzy feeling glowing as times goes by when you are together for a while? Satisfy the deep emotions need of your loved one.

1. Words of Affirmation - expressing your love through words

- show your loved one that you are proud of her when she gets promoted at work.
- shower your loved one with daily compliments and encouragement through handwritten card, phone, SMS and email.

If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Say it often and mean it with all your heart. Be sincere, and go beyond sweet talk.
Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

2. Quality Time - make time for each other

- Have fun, laugh and do something new each time when both meet up together.
- Give your full, undivided attention to your loved one.
- Be there for her when she needs you and let her know she can always count on you.
- Even if both of you are busy to meet up, hearing each other's voice through a simple 1-hr bedtime chat make her know the other one is someone they could always turn to and make her feel loved.

Being there for your loved one is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved.
Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

3. Receiving Thoughtful Gifts

Showering your loved one with gifts is an expression of genuine affection. Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift.
- buying something your loved one desires.
- patiently queuing to buy your loved one's favourite food.
- going to different shops to buy the ultimate gift.
The process is more valuable than the gift itself. Giving is a joy no matter how much trouble is involved.
"Girls are usually shy. They expect the guy to take the initiative to show his love."
If you give your loved one something out of the blue, it means the world to the person.

If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you.
A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

4. Acts of Service

Acts of love speak louder than words.
- When your loved one is moving out into a new home, offer to help her to pack her belongings.
- When she is carrying something heavy, get over to her to help carry the stuff.
- Cook porridge and soup for her when she's sick.
- She helps you to iron your clothes.
Instead of "sitting around" (signal of don't care), give her a helping hand. Show her that you care for her and love her. Do it out of love and you will not feel like a chore at all, and even the smallest action will spell: I care.

Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.
Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

5. Physical Touch

This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

Be aware of each other's love language (emotion need).
- know what your loved one need.
- know what you need.
"A relationship is about providing what your loved one wants and not about providing what you think they need."
Once you understand this, you are able to get past each other's differences and come to a compromise to match each other's expectations.

On a separate note,
‎1. Mistakes are part and parcel of life. "No matter how silly, embarrassing, life-threatening the mistakes are, look at the bright side. At least you survived the ordeal to emerge a champion."
2. There are always two sides to every story.
3. Don’t over analyse things! "Analysing is good when done in moderation but when it is taken to the extreme, it can be fatal!"

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